


Regit's Expoisé

by RewaAllana



Series: Sayori's Skyrim [2]
Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls Online, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Adoption, Bethesda, Child Loss, Elder Scrolls Lore, Elsweyr, Family Loss, Gameplay, Gen, Khajiit Family, Kittens, Loss of Innocence, Loss of Parent(s), Love, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Mother-Son Relationship, Prequel, Single Parents, Skyrim - Freeform, Skyrim References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 13:16:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 18,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20742812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RewaAllana/pseuds/RewaAllana
Summary: Regit's Expoisé - Or, just the brother of the Dragonborn's fond memoriesPrequel to Sayori; Tail End. Regit, Saoyir's twin brother - now a mercenary and store owner in Whiterun, remembers his old life with his sister and long lost family in Esweyr.





	1. Intro

A brief intro

I have been told introductions are important when your merely family to the savior of Tamriel.

I am the twin brother of none other than the legendary Dragonborn – Sayori. The Khajiit who shouted the World-Eater to Oblivion and still lives for more adventure. So many, our Imperial sisters should write ten books.

I write this to hopefully publish it when it is ready and I am confident my sister will not find out till it’s too late.

That was a joke.

I write because I watch from the side-lines with pride and wonder. Even with her accomplishments and feats, my sister is still the very same Khajiit who not long ago, would sit silently in the corner to read and speak so quietly that mother would order her to speak up.

A Dragonborn who does not like to shout.

I’m sure mother has a lot to say when we both finally meet again.


	2. Khajiit in Whiterun

Forgive me, I am not good at titles. Jon Battleborn, who is teaching my daughter to sing and my son to play lute says it does not matter so long as it gets to the point.

I am a father. An immigrant. A Khajiit living in Skyrim. Home address, Breezhome, Whiterun. Occasionally I will go with my neighbor Amren to share mercenary work but this one much prefers sitting behind the walls and selling my goods.

Many question where my goods come from. Some who do not know my sister have challenged and protested that I am but a thief. Visitors in Whiterun even report to the guards that I kidnapped my own daughter. Thankfully, the guards aren’t too stupid and tell them to leave me well alone. If they would now stop talking about arrows in the knees or asking me to “brew an ale” because I happen to have an interest in Alchemy, this town would be less intolerable. As it is, it is safe and my children are happy.

The goods come from loot that my twin picks up in her adventures around the dangerous land called Skyrim. Both my children adore and worship her as they should. Their friends envy them while their parents often ask for my sister who they only know as their savior.

I had come to Skyrim as a guard to some caravans. I wanted to get away from my homeland. To leave the good memories that were now too sad. My old family was gone and I knew if I didn’t go, I would be meeting our God’s too soon.

Stories of Dragon’s did not interest me even when we entered the cold land of Skyrim. Stories of a mortal who could take one down certainly did. The talk in the caravan’s speculated that the Nord tale of Tale’s returning may be true but then a rumor came that this “mortal-God” was not even a Nord.

A Khajiit.

That didn’t sound right and it was laughed off pretty quickly.

Kharjo mentioned that he had met two fellow khajiits and a nord who had offered to find his amulet. I thought they were fools but at Whiterun, the sun long set, I heard him exclaim in excitement that they had found it.

I wished to sleep soon.

The female khajiit who had helped would not stop staring at me. I pretended to stand guard and ignored her.

Then she came close; “Regit?”

This ones body made an uncomfortable jerk as I could not hide my surprise.

I knew that voice.

“Regit?”

Sayori.

No….

“Sayori?”

I foolishly dropped the torch I held but I would not have cared if the grass were aflame. I held my sister in my arms, wishing I did not have the steel armor that protected us both from our holds.

Both of us were only seventeen then but we had both gone through so much.

Long story short, she was already a known hero by the time we found each other again and she owned many houses. I was given Breezehouse and soon, I got acquainted to my neighbors.

After the murder of it’s owner, I traveled to Riften and to the Orphanage where I found Runa and S’bad. A Nord and a Khajiit. S’bad reminded me of my brother Husbar while Runa had been there too long.

And now, I am ready to look back more fondly of my life before.


	3. New Litter

My twin and I were born in Elysweyr. Rimmon. To a mercenary and a minor. Both of us Cathey, both of us had red fur. We were our mother’s second litter – her first bore four cubs but we were just two.

The first litter was two girls and two boys. Fash’rin, Jahadra, Elahbah and Husbar. And unlike their siblings after them, their father was quite flagrant in their young lives.

Battleborn told me “flagrant” was a good word to use.

I can just imagine Sayori trying not to snigger that I’m using long words like she used too…..

Fash’rin was our big sister. The oldest. Fash’rin’s fur was steel like grey and her brothers teased that she was already an old feline whenever she tried to tell them off for their boyish behaviors. She was the typical responsible older sister who made sure all her siblings behaved when around adults. When she was old enough to work, she would be down in the mine with mother before taking her time with our wooden bathtub which greatly annoyed us.

Fash’rin, a talented lute player, was a very good looking feline and I often overheard her and mother talking about men. I believe she had more than two suitors who were fighting over her. Mother told her to wait it out. Her daughter was still too young to decide straight away.

The second cub Jahadra also mined with her mother and sister. Her fur was jet black with a white stripe on her forehead but unlike her older sister, Jahadra had no time for suitors or music and more time earning money. She would be in the mine from early morning to late at night and spent her free time fishing or playing cards with her brothers. She also had a temper which bore it’s ugly head when she disagreed with something or her siblings were annoying her too much. She used to get into terrible rows with Fash’rin, mother and especially Elahbah.

Elahbah was lazy. A grey and white Khajiit who ran errands around the city but would get it done too quickly just to go back to sleep at home. He was popular with many of the residents as he was quite charming with the men and women, declaring he would marry everyone if he could. Jahadra often called him a “whore” which he resented. Yes, he said some things but deep down, he was an honest creature who did earn his keep.

I do know that mother once found skooma under the bed and Elahbah got such a beating for it that he promised he wouldn’t touch it again. Mother always made me and Sayori promise we would never touch the stuff. A promise I kept despite my curiosity. I will not even try moon sugar.

Husbar, grey and black furred, was the youngest of the litter and the strongest. He grew up to be a mercenary and practiced outside with archery and swords. He was a good swordsman. Not as good as what I would become, but he was good.

He was also terrified of spiders which Jahadra and Elahbah used against him. I woke up many times to his screams as they poured small spiders over him. It was a prank that even I thought was too mean but it was very funny.

All four were already too old to be considered children but not quite adults yet by the time myself and Sayori were born.

And our father had suddenly disappeared when mother was heavily pregnant with her twins.

“Where is Papa?” Fash’rin has asked her.

“Gone into the jungle.” She had answered as she prepared their small breakfast of bread and cheese; “And he won’t be back for some time.”

Our father – Urjabil - was what we khajiit’s call a Suthy-raht. He had left his family in the jungle areas to be with our mother. Suthy’s look very much like Cahthy’s, so little was said when they married. His disappearances was what got people talking. The fact his own children didn’t know what was going on was hard on us all.

Mother – Karina – met our father in the jungle as an explorer and both fell in love after he showed her around his home. She retired from adventuring to become a minor after they settled in what was an old farm house just in the outskirts of the city but not so far off that it was isolated. It was a two-story house, just big enough for them and four cubs. A little tighter for the three cubs who would join.

Mother never really told us what happened to father. I believe he may have got in trouble from the law for something small. A murder or two perhaps. Something he could have afforded to get himself out of jail if he lived in Skyrim. But Rimmon’s law at the time meant he would have been executed. Since we heard of no execution, he probably did go back the jungle as mother said and her demeanor made it clear that it was unsafe to talk about it in case someone was listening.

What I do know of him, he was not a father who much liked cuddles nor did he discipline his sons or teach them to use a sword. Mother did everything. Jahadra told me that me, Sayori and Droisa weren’t missing out on much.

Still, I do wish we had a father figure. One that old Gallius ended up being for Sayori and even me for a time.

I miss that old man….

Father’s absence became a second thought when it was time for the birth’s.

Fash’rin and two nurses helped our mother in the main bedroom in the house while the others paced downstairs, excited and nervous. Elahbah had to call off a date with the third of his ten or thirteen girlfriends he had over his life which he was a little annoyed about but the birth of a Khajiit is not something to miss.

I – Regit - was the first. I was a big cub, healthy and hungry and was already asleep and full with milk by the time my twin finally came. Mother said I was the easy one. She said her daughter was too shy even then to come out.

Sayori did not cry when she came next. In fact, she did not move. One of the nurses had to give her a small shake and a pat on the back to get any sign of life. Fash’rin told me it was the scariest moment in her life and finally hearing her little sister cry was such a relief. Getting her to drink was hard too and the nurse told our now weak mother that the cub was too be wrapped up in something extra warm. “Too weak” they said. They did not have to worry so much with me.

Our thanksgiving was short but not without incident. Mother bought us to the Chapel where the moons were worshiped. Jahadra told me in later life that Holy water was poured on me first and as expected, I did not like it but calmed down once mother held me.

Sayori however screeched and howled and it was clear she was in real pain. The service was stopped and a feline who lived in the chapel prayed until the water dried into the fur and the small Khajiit fell into unconsciousness.

Husbar wondered if someone after father had done something to the water but it was pointed out that I had not reacted in that way. It was strange and when the deeply religious see something that should not be, they blame demons or even mages. A priest even had the audacity to claim it was a punishment for our father’s actions. Mother- a well respected resident with many friends – calmly told the chapel that they had better withdraw that accusation, as a child who could not yet speak could not defend itself. Logically, the khajiit probably had a bad reaction to whatever they put in the water. If they did not apologize and continue the blessings, many Khajiit would not attend the services or give to it’s “charity”.

Facing opposition to the people, my sister was cleared. Yes, even when she could barely walk, my sister created noise.


	4. Father

_Battleborn says I write well for a Khajiit. Runa tells me that she does not think that is a nice compliment, but I digress, I’ll see it as such._

Regit remembers only one time seeing our father. Myself and Sayori’s eyes were long opened and we could talk and walk on our own though I – always the more eager to move around – was the clumsy one which irritated my siblings. And I always liked to go downstairs before anyone else, including my twin.

When very young, Sayori followed me around and was the silent companion to my “misadventures”. Whilst I was the one who stoles the sweet rolls, she would watch for wandering eyes. And if our siblings gave us too much lip, she would be the one to watch at the door while I filled their shoes with maggots.

The day we first met our father, we were both creeping downstairs in the early morning because I wanted to see if mother’s friends had left us some treats. You can imagine our shock to find the stranger sitting casually at our dining table, drinking mother’s milk.

“Ah” his voice was as low as Alduin himself, “so you’re the new ones.”

I could feel Sayori cling to me as her anxiety took over.

“You do not know who this one is.” He got up; “Perhaps your mother claims that you have no father?”

And like that, he went upstairs, leaving me and Sayori confused and a little afraid.

Husbar suddenly came downstairs in a hurry and warned us not to go up.

“Why?” I asked, “I’m still tired.”

Jahadra was next down; “Do as he says.”

“Who is that?” Sayori spoke. As usual it was timid and Jahadra had to stop and look at her to make sure she was spoken to.

“Father”.

Fash’rin and Elahbah then came down and Elahbah – who never liked to work – made sure that we little ones were fed.

“Is Mummy well?” I remember asking, a question Sayori wasn’t quick enough to ask.

“She’s well” Elahbah was in no mood to talk about it; “just don’t go up there.”

“Regit wants to see her!” I protested.

“Regit….”

Only Sayori’s whimpering pleas ever seemed to stop my quick temper.

Jahadra grunted at us both; “Not fair we get stuck with the twins.”

Sayori and I spent the long day on the stairs wondering where mother was. Fash’rin and Husbar went out to shop while Elahbah and Jahadra were the very reluctant babysitters.

Then our father and mother came down. He held her and then left as abruptly as he appeared.

“Did he hurt you?”

All the khajiit turned when they heard Sayori’s question.

“How could you think that?” Mother was both appalled and intrigued.

Sayori did not hide that she didn’t like being the centre of attention; “Regit and I were told not to go up.”

“I?” Mother looked at her older children; “who has been teaching the twins to use that word?”

“What word?” I was confused.

“I was just worried.” Sayori whispered to me.

Mother, by some miracle heard it; “who taught you to describe yourself as “I”?”

“No one.”

“Then why use it?”

“I….” Sayori was visibly shaking, “I was worried about you.”

“We are were” Jahadra spoke up.

“Don’t you start” Mother warned her.

“Mother-”

“He will not be back.” Mother’s voice was firm, “none of you need to worry about him anymore. Your mother now needs to talk to the twins.”

I worried that our previous scheme had been reported so I felt just as nervous as my sister when mother had us come to our room and made us sit down;

“Do you know who that khajiit was?”

“Father” I answered. Sayori had said a lot for one day.

“Yes. He was here to tell me something.” Mother gave a concerned look towards my sister; “Sayori, what is wrong?”

My twin was doubled up; “It’s nothing.”

“Don’t lie.”

“I’m fine.”

“And just who taught you to speak like this? You talk like you’re not Khajiit.”

Sayori looked at mother; “I don’t know.”

“Well stop. It will make others talk.”

I hated it when mother scolded my sister; “Sayori hasn’t done anything wrong mother.”

Mother sighed; “We’re getting off topic. Perhaps it is because this one’s old friends come in now and then and you’ve heard they way they speak, yes?”

Not all of mother’s friends were Khajiit.

Sayori could only shrug at that idea.

Mother decided to leave it for now; “Your father has told me he will not be back, but if you have questions, tell me. Your siblings will have a lot to say but your mother is the only one who knows him.”

I never did ask about my father. I knew it caused mother and our older siblings pain.

Shortly after that day, mother was pregnant with four cubs.

One girl and three boys.

Sadly, only the girl – Droisa – survived the birth. Our brothers - Shaiq, Kazasha and Jodar – were buried together at the local cemetery.

“This will be my last littler” I heard mother mutter to herself.

Sure enough, she never bore anymore cubs.


	5. Table

“What does an older sister do?” Sayori asked after the mourning period was over.

“Ugh” Jahadra had little patience with her younger siblings; “did you really ask that?”

“Don’t be Jahadra” Elahbah answered with a mischievous smile. He ducked as a spoon was thrown at him.

“I suppose we just….. Have her around?” I answered, not very well.

Sayori looked on as her brother and sister traded blows; “Don’t be them?”

“I…..” I had started picking up my sister’s habit of using “I” a lot, “I guess that’s a good answer.”

“That was an answer?”

I shrugged to end this pointless discussion.

Now that her house was filled with Khajiit, the ways of the house was decided to accommodate us all.

One rule that we had to obey for practical reasons was for Mother’s first litter to eat first at the dining table. Once they were done, the twins and Droisa would take their seats and mother would cook what the first litter already had fresh. Mother ate with her first litter in the morning while at supper, she ate with the younger cubs.

Droisa would have been a sight for the Nord’s had she been one. Her fur was faded blonde and she was fascinated with cooking. Mother likes a Khajiit child who wanted to cook and spent her time preparing our food showing her youngest what to do.

All the Khajiit could cook.

Except Elahbah. He was lazy.

Mother allowed her first litter to teach me and Sayori other skills when she did not have the time. Jahadra – impatiently - showed us how to catch fish. Elahbah showed us around parts of the city mother was willing for us to go without someone watching us and Fash’rin taught us the lute. Husbar was the one who taught us to swing a sword and use a bow. I was better at the sword while Sayori was by far the better archer. She could still swing a sword pretty well but her archery skill made on lookers drop their mouths.

The dinning table was the place to talk to mother or each other. Most of the talk involved what we did today and once Sayori and I were of age, how our education was going.

I should write about that in the next chapter.

I do remember one conversation we young ones had with mother at the table. The first litter were cleaning the house with Jahadra entering late and missing supper, much to her chagrin.

“Do you remember them?” Sayori suddenly asked.

“Mouse” mother used the affectionate name she gave; “who are you talking to?”

“Droisa.”

“What?” our youngest cub asked.

“Do you remember them?”

Droisa was busy with her doll; “Who?”

“The others born with you?”

Sayori, as quiet as she was, could say something that stopped time. Or seemed too.

We were under strict rules not to make Droisa feel guilty that she was the only one to survive. I wondered what to say or do to save my twin from trouble.

Droisa was too young to understand why everyone had stopped; “No. Mother says they will help me when I’m older.”

By the God’s I wish they did.

“I remember things.” Sayori didn’t notice the eyes watching her; “something that…. Burned so badly.”

Fash’rin recovered quickly; “Sayori, why are you acting like that?”

“Hmmm?” Sayori then noticed the others; “Ugh…. Um… No.”

“She asked you a question.” Jahadra leaned forward.

I was quick to defend my twin; “She’s not hurting anyone.”

Mother cleared her throat roughly, silencing the room.

She gave it a minute before turning to Sayori; “What is it you remember little one?”

“Something wet and hot. I was held by someone but it wasn’t you. And I wanted to get away from it.”

“Can you not tell her to speak like a normal khajiit?” Jahadra muttered. She’d had an extra-long day and was eager to finish her meal and get ready for bed.

Sayori had already lost her confidence; “forget it.”

“Finish your meal and go upstairs” mother ordered her.

“She didn’t do anything!” I protested as Sayori meekly obeyed.

“Regit” mother only had to say my name for me to back off.

That didn’t stop me from following her to listen behind the door.

On the second floor was two rooms. Once father was gone, Fash’rin, Jahadra and mother shared the largest bed. Elahbah and Husbar shared another in the same room while Droisa, Sayori and me slept in the next room together. Droisa usually ended up leaving us to sleep with mother so in the morning, I would often find Sayori muttering and groaning in her sleep. I was under strict instructions to wake her up immediately when this happened.

She used to have terrible nightmares as a child. Bad enough that mother paid for a doctor and even seeked advice from the very chapel that had called her a demon. The doctor, whilst trying to sell her potions, said it was most likely an overactive imagination typical of children while the chapel said it may be that her spirit needed tamed.

“My child is as meek as a butterfly” mother protested, “the only time she showed any violence was when you poured that so-called Holy water over her!”

Tactful as ever, Sayori had looked up at the priest and said; “you’re the reason I’m stupid?”

Oddly that started a process of healing between mother and the church as the faithful took an instant liking to my innocent sister and offered prayers to give her good dreams. And oddly enough, it seemed to work.

Back to this particular day, mother sat with Sayori who understandably wondered if she was in trouble.

“Well you may remember that you are not supposed to ask Droisa about her brothers.”

“Oh. Sorry”.

I’m sure if Sayori and I were the first litter, mother would have had more trouble with her patience. I was trying enough but mother was used to having trying children. She was not used to a child who was trying without meaning to be. Nor one as easily started or harder to read.

“Also, Jahadra is in her mood and I doubt you want to be around when I have to use my stick.”

“Thank you mother.” Sayori was grateful.

The “stick” was a bunch of leafless twigs that father had bounded together. It was small but lethal to our backs. Mother used it from time to time on her first litter. I would feel it often for my habit of talking back to mother, my siblings or with strangers. It was seen as necessary thing to keep us all in line. It did not fail to have us in tears and begging for forgiveness with mother’s arm behind it.

Except one time.

I am now bored.

Time for the next chapter, yes?


	6. Education

Since most of our family worked, mother arranged for me and Sayori to be taught by another adult who already taught other Khajiit and even a few Imperials and one or two Argonians. We had a fifteen-minute walk and went three days a week.

As expected, I was the one who made friends and Sayori was the one who became friends with those already familiar with me.

The Khajiit who taught us – a Suthay named Sōshō – was a keen teacher who cared more for books than combat which did suit a Khajiit like me. Sōshō did however demand and receive respect. He was an old Khajiit who had taught our mother and she remembered him both fondly and with fear.

Unlike Skyrim, Rimmon has so many families that it is difficult to know everyone. This one and Sayori were not the only twins in Rimmon and yet we stood out quite a bit. We were among the few with no father figure and there were two kittens we studied with who mocked us all with tales that our father’s head was on a pike or his body strung up in the trees.

Thender and Tsajarra. Two bigger cubs who bullied everyone at least twice.

But Sōshō was quick to stop that nonsense, at least within his classroom. Miscreants were disciplined by studying in isolation and being forced to eat with him during our lunch break. They say he made you apologize if you were not able to eat as quickly as he. If you refused to repent, he simply had your parents brought to his school and he would scold them for “terrible parenting”. He never raised a paw against a child. He didn't need too. Such was his influence that he was kept busy with letters and requests from families asking for his advice which annoyed him. All he wanted to do was to teach children.

On our first day, Sōshō was easy on us, working with the others but also keeping an eye on the twins who had joined his class. Sayori and I were the youngest and in my sister’s case especially, the smallest. I had already made two friends that day but Sayori had yet to talk to them. I struggled to pay attention, getting bored easily while Sayori seemed uneasy being made to sit in one place.

By tradition, Sōshō made us wait after classes were over to talk to us.

“Regit and Sayori”.

He sat on a mat and gestured for us to do the same in front of him.

“Born on the same day and one will always fight for the other, even when they fight each other.” His wise eyes studied us; “that is what is said about twins. Would you say that it’s true?”

I was impressed that he asked such a question to one so young; “If anyone picks on Sayori, I defend her.”

“I… try” Sayori was honest.

“If I was to berate one of you, how would you react?” Sōshō asked.

“Regit always defends Sayori with his fists.” I declared.

“No. Your mouth” Sayori was unimpressed with my boasting.

“You would sit and cry.” I pounded.

“It gets mother’s attention for you to try and run away.”

“Fair point.”

“Typical Khajiit. Sneaky and clever Good.” Sōshō grinned; “who is the clever one?” He suddenly stopped me with a paw; “let your sister answer first.”

Sayori looked down; “Uh….”

“It is rude to look away when you are speaking to an elder” Sōshō said firmly but kindly.

Sayori did her best; “It depends.”

“Let’s say – learning combat for example?”

“Regit is stronger but I pick things up quicker.”

“You do not speak like a khajiit. Why is that?”

Sayori squirmed; “It feels natural for me.”

“Mother said it may be the visitors from her travels” I jumped in.

Sōshō nodded to me but spoke again to my sister; “what about books?”

Easy answer; “Oh me.”

I sighed; “One cannot argue with that.”

“Perhaps you should met my friend K’arr.” Sōshō wrote a note and gave it to my sister; “the bookstore next door. You can borrow his books or buy them. This one requests as you study here to look for books to study the history of our land or magicka if your mother so much wishes.” He included me in the conversation; “I do not know your mother’s stance on magic but your siblings had no interest in learning it for me to find out.”

“She makes the room light for Droisa” I said, “very annoying.”

I jumped in fright as Sayori’s hand made a noise and light appeared.

“You already know some magic then?” Sōshō asked, impressed if troubled.

“I watch.”

I looked at my sister; “Huh?”

“I… watch. I watch what they do.”

Sōshō looked at my sister with an odd expression; “I do not quite understand you.”

“You wouldn’t be the first”

“Hmmm……” he turned to me; “Does Regit think his sister is a little odd?”

I shook my head a little too quickly for a small cub; “No. She’s my sister.”

He turned back to Sayori; “Who are “they”?”

“The others in the class.”

He smiled; “Ah. So you listen when it is not even required. Interesting.”

“Good?” Sayori asked attentively.

“Oh yes.” He chuckled; “I am talking to a young cub like she is almost my equal. Amusing.”

I felt a little left out; “We will do our best in class Sōshō”.

“I wouldn’t expected less”. He was our teacher again; “And while this is just a formal meeting, starting next lesson, you will address me as “Master Sōshō” while in class. “Sōshō” if we meet outside. Understood?”

We both said yes and were sent home.

I couldn’t hide my excitement; “Sayori knows magic!”

You could have sworn I had declared one of the moons had fallen.

Mother was the first to recover; “Sayori?”

“Sōshō teaches Majicka” Sayori’s soft voice was stronger, she had enjoyed her day; “and he was impressed I picked up so much.”

“Now we have a mage in the house, wonderful” Jahadra moaned. I noticed our other siblings, Droisa being an exception, seemed to agree with Jahadra’s current mood.

“Is it wrong?” My twin asked.

“No it’s not” Mother answered. “Just be careful.”

“Aren’t you worried that a little cub knows magic but we don’t?” Jahadra argued, gesturing to Sayori; “who knows what damage can happen!”

“I can make fire.”

Everyone looked at Sayori again.

Sayori looked at her feet; “That was the wrong thing to say”.


	7. Books

Mother was not too worried about Sayori’s sudden grasp for magic. I suppose if it had been me, she would have more reason to be concerned. I was the clumsy one. I probably smashed more pot plants then painted them in my childhood. It’s probably just as well that even now, I can only do a small bit of restoration if one of my children breaks an arm or leg. Fire would have been a disaster.

Of course, our siblings were more at odds with it. Missing items were blamed on Sayori even after I “found” them and admitted I “may” have moved them myself.

It’s maddening seeing family members pick on the one Khajiit they should have been protecting. Or pick on the one who could not defend herself.

Sayori started spending more time in our bedroom reading when she wasn’t practicing with her arrows or studying in school. She did not like being disturbed unless it was me and even I tried her patience especially when she was trying to read an exciting part. She never got cross so any irritation, I knew I had crossed the line and apologized.

Mother wasn’t impressed with this new hobby, getting irritated that her daughter was spending more time with her books than talking to her family. Jahadra jokingly suggested they should burn all the books in the house.

Our teacher encouraged her hobby though and when she finished her lessons, he was happy for her to read while the rest of us tried to keep up. Sayori proved a very quick learner which didn’t surprise me. Sayori was always a quick learner – she just wasn’t confident showing it. And in Sōshō’s class, none of us felt the need to prove to our peers. We were driven to earn praise from Sōshō only.

So as Sayori seemed to work effortlessly, I noticed some of the older Khajiit glaring at her.

I was worried. And as it proved, I had every right to be.

One day, the twins got permission to go into town while our family worked. Fash’rin took care of Droisa so we were free of her.

Since I had forced Sayori the last time we were along to go to the sweat shop and “buy” some sweets, it was her turn to choose where to go.

Surprise, surprise, the book store that Sōshō had recommended.

There was a long pile of stairs to get to it and because she was shy, I opened the door first.

The store was open, but there was no one at the counter to greet us.

“Let’s just look around” I said.

“I have coin” Sayori responded.

“Mother will not be pleased” I warned. “She has a lot of patience and you are testing it.”

“I think I test her patience in whatever I do.” Sayori looked through the book shelves; “I am a disappointment.”

“Elahbah is the real disappointment” I said; “what makes you think you are?”

“He has been better since Mama found the skooma. Now she gets easily cross with me. Or I get scolded more.”

“I have not noticed.”

“She does it when you’re not around. Maybe so you don’t argue.”

“Maybe work is stressful.” I suggested. “She mines and then comes home and cooks. She works too hard.”

“I agree.” Then she started to mutter as she pushed each book she examined back into the selves; “Boring, romantic rubbish….. too much violence…. Too dangerous if mother sees it….”

I was curious and perplexed; “What’s wrong with the books?”

“Ugh” Sayori put one back; “We’re in the wrong section.”

“You sound like Jahadra.”

“Please don’t insult me.”

Forgetting the rules, I laughed out loud. Sayori quickly put a stop to that.

I said in a quiet voice; “do you even need me here?”

“You’re the one who follows me everywhere.”

“Look who’s talking.”

“I have no friends.” Sayori found a book; “found it.”

“What?”

She showed me.

It was “Master Zoaraym’s Tale” by G’Nanth. Old Sōshō had one in his office. The cover was rememberable enough even for my scatterbrain.

“You’d like it.” Sayori insisted, “It will give you ideas how to use your sword.”

“I’ll pass. But why are you getting it? You’re already quite good at fighting”.

“I’m not” Sayori shook her head; “I’m a good archer, I would like my skills to be the same-”

“Sayori, you’re a better archer than Husbar and even some of his friends. He said so himself. I doubt you’ll be able to catch up with that on your over skills.”

Sayori gave me a determined look; “wait.”

I grinned; “you’ll have to catch up with me first.”

“Oh I will.”

“Rounmin?”

We looked to the counter.

A large elder brown khajiit smiled at us; “You are both from the Rounmin family?”

“Um, yes?” I answered for us both.

Rounmin was our surname but khajiit barley acknowledge it unless in large company. So it was off to be referred to us such.

“You my boy have your father’s eyes. My condolences.”

I didn’t know how to respond.

The old Khajiit grinned as Sayori shyly gave him coin for her book and we left quickly.

“Do we have to go back?” I asked.

“It’s the closest book store.”

“When we’re older, lets go somewhere else.”

“Agreed.”

That was when I slipped and fell from the top of the stairs all the way down.

My right hind leg snapped in two.

I cried and screamed in pain.

Then suddenly, I felt nothing.

I heard a strange noise. I opened my eyes just in time to see Sayori finish a restoration spell.

My leg was no longer broken.

“What did you do?” I asked.

“Healed your leg. I think”.

“It feels…. Better.”

“Oh. Good.”

“Renrij!”

We both turned to see two familiar faces.

Thender and Tsajarra.

To my shame, I felt fear.

“Va’Aneqasa!” Thender yelled; “You are both renrij!”

For those not familiar with our ways, both “Va’Aneqasa” and “Renrij” are not words children should be using. They both mean scum.

Sayori moved sides to be more further away from them as I struggled to get up. I fell back onto the stairs.

“Mage!” Tsajarra had a foul tone; “all will see to it you are driven away!”

Sayori didn’t dare say anything.

“Come on Thender” she got bored quickly; “we are a danger with this made here.”

“Just because you’re not smart enough to learn restoration!” I yelled.

“We are Warriors. Or will be” Thender mocked; “Sugertail”.

Sayori suddenly moved forward as if to attack him.

He backed off, showing some nerves.

“Cold-slate!” I said to that; “scared of a girl.”

“Come on Thender” Tsajarra didn’t want her brother embarrassing himself any more.

“Don’t say anymore” Sayori whispered to me as we watched the Sirbus’s leave.

“Thank you” I said. My leg was singing praises.

“What was their problem?”

“Childish behaviour.”

The old khajiit was at the top of the stairs.

“Stay where you are cub” he came down and then picked me up; “you” he nodded at Sayori; “stay close.”

Sayori followed the old khajiit as he carried me home.

Everyone was there. The miners had just got home and were tired. Elahbah was his usual lazy self while Husbar had been on a taxing bounty hunt and was preparing to take his armour off.

“K’arr?” Mother was surprised to see him and then her worry showed when she saw me; “what did he do?”

“Tripped over my stairway. K’arr swears that the stairway should be taken away and used to guard a treasure or something. Too many khajiit get hurt. This is the worst. It’s good you taught her cubs restoration.”

Mother blinked; “I’m sorry.”

“You’re little one there used restoration on her brother. The leg is healed. Not seen it done so well from one so young.”

Sayori noticed the looks she was getting from our older brothers and sisters and so her shoulders went up high and she struggled to hide her growing anxiety.

Mother was quick; “Sayori, that was the right thing to do. Well done.”

It helped a little.

“Did they tell you where we live?” Mother handed K’arr some mead as a thanks.

“Knew they were yours the moment their voices reached my ears. The boy has his father’s eyes too. The girl….. I will work it out.” He nodded to the others; “pleasure.”

Mother waited until he was long gone; “What were you two doing in his book store?”

“To get a book.” I answered; my leg no longer felt numb.

“The real question is how in Oblivion are we going to explain how Sayori knows restoration.” Jahadra said.

“Do not swear in front of the young ones” Mother hissed.

Droisa cuddled into Fash’rin as Jahadra got up and pointed at my twin; “People will have seen it! That old man knows everyone, and he’ll repeat it! People do not like mages.”

“Restoration is looked upon more favourably” said Fash’rin, “but it is worrisome none the less.”

“And how can you learn how to heal a leg at this young age?” Elahbah asked.

“You could never do your own buttons” Jahadra said to her brother. She turned back to her little sister; “Why did you do it Sayori?”

“His leg was broken.”

She answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Mother seemed to agree; “If she can do restoration, then why not?”

“Magic is dangerous. Mages can be dangerous, and if in a child’s-”

“Your sword is no less dangerous Husbar” Mother fought her first litters fear with calm; “Are you suggesting that the mouse in the family will turn on us?”

“No. But she can have an accident. She is but a child.”

I knew Sayori was insulted by that; “She’s careful!” I stood between her and Jahadra; “and she would never hurt anyone.”

“Suppose she has not yet burned the house.” Said Fash’rin.

“Yet” Jahadra couldn’t help herself.

“I….”

Sayori looked at me and I nodded to encourage her.

“I’m not quite sure what I’ve done wrong.”

“You’ve done nothing wrong” said Mother, “your siblings are just overacting.”

“Mother-” Jahadra started.

“No.” Mother ended it. “Why were the pair of you even at the book store?”

“To buy a book.”

“Sayori, don’t answer like we are beneath you.”

Sayori looked at me, confused.

I didn’t understand either.

“I’m waiting” Mother got our attention.

“Sōshō showed us where the book store was.” I answered, “This one’s leg broke from the stairs.”

“It’s very high” Sayori said.

“And Sayori used restoration.”

“And those khajiit yelled at us.”

“What khajiit?” Mother frowned further.

“Thender and Tsajarra.”

Mother looked at her first litter; “Do you know of these two?”

“We knew their brother” Elahbah said, “he was recently sentenced for execution. To be carried out next month. He was violent.”

“Qa’dran. He ran away from home and became a bandit.” Husbar added; “He was captured recently - the only khajiit I think old Sōshō kicked out of the class.”

“He could not stand violence.” Jahadra was now very worried; “if they come for you, do not use magic but find other ways of defending yourselves. That family has some…. Shadyness.”

“You mean, we’ll be teased for this?” I asked. Sayori looked on the verge of a panic attack.

“Putting it lightly” Jahadra responded; “The Sirbus family do not care for mages.”

“I’m just an archer.”

Sayori said that with gritted teeth.

“Well then don’t use magic”

“He’s leg was broken -”

“Enough.” Mother ended it again; “if those two come teasing, remember you did the right thing.”

I took Sayori’s paw and we both went upstairs. We knew it was time to be away from the others.

“I don’t understand what I did wrong.” Sayori said.

“You heard what mother said.”

“But the others?”

“They’re all tired from work and they need something to complain about. Mother’s cooking wasn’t so awful this time, so they picked on you.” I sighed; “It does trouble me though.”

“What?”

“How are you able to learn things so quickly? Just by watching?”

“Isn’t it easy for everyone?”

“Maybe for Sōshō and Mother. But then Sōshō would not have work if it was the same for everyone.”

“So I’m different?”

“I suppose so.” I leaned against the wall; “What are we going to do about the Sirbus’s?”

“You’re asking me?”

“You’re the wounded party.”

“Regit, I don’t want to…. Fight them or anything.”

“No, no. Not that. Just…..” I tried to think, “let them throw the first stone. If they do nothing, we don’t need to worry. After all, it was only restoration. Lots of Khajiit agree it’s a spell worth learning.”

“So what was wrong with me?”

“Because you’re too young? Not sure. But my leg is glad you did. And me too.”

I was pleased to see her grin at my lame joke.

“If they start something, trust that your brother will end it” I promised.

“I don’t want you to get into trouble.”

“That’s a risk worth taking to keep you safe.”

Mother had sent word to our old teacher about the incident and he promised to confront the family of our tormentors.

It seemed to work until it didn’t.


	8. The Fight

I was relieved when we returned to class that almost everyone was very understanding of the situation and praised Sayori for her quick thinking. It helps, as we know, that restoration is perhaps the only school of magic respected and trusted. No one gets hurt by healing.

Sōshō however had a small warning; “Young one, when I teach Destruction, do not pay attention. You are too young to learn.”

Sayori wisely didn’t tell him she already knew how to use fire.

Mother would have got a lecture from the one khajiit she seemed to fear and that would not have been good.

Speaking of mother, I started to notice she was starting to be a lot more harder on Sayori than the rest of us. She would shut down a conversation about books or magic and tell my twin that she was learning things too fast. More helping around the house and less book reading – maybe she would have less nightmares.

Sayori didn’t seem to notice. Or else, she never commented on it. Books were an important part of her young life and I knew a journey to Oblivion and back would never make her change her mind.

And I honestly didn’t see the harm of it. I learned a lot from my sister who would explain new tactics she had learned from the books, helping me through combat training and playing catch up with her archer skills.

“Sayori, who’s supposed to be teaching you?” Husbar once impatiently asked her.

“We could both do it.” She insisted, unaware of his mood.

He sighed and walked off in a huff. And Mother later reprimanded her for talking back to her older brother.

After class, instead of going home, we went to K’arr’s book shop. K’arr was very pleased when we would come and so it became a second home and a good place for the twins to get away from the house. Droisa also came with us sometimes but she would get bored easily. I never did. K’arr didn’t seem to mind if I fooled around in his store so long as I cleaned up the mess and didn’t ruin his books.

Three weeks after I had broken my leg, we were once more at the store. Droisa had just started coming to class and so we were stuck “watching” her. Sayori had saved up coin for a book despite Mother’s insistence that she save up more for a better bow. I knew it was hopeless to get my shy but stubborn twin to change her mind and so I stood and watched her tutting and sighing at each book she uncovered and then put back.

The old khajiit had been watching from his counter; “My books do not please you little one?”

“My sister had acquired tastes.” I quipped.

“I like stories!” Sayori argued, “just not silly ones.”

I picked up a book and looked at the cover; “This one looks good.”

“That is the Lusty Argonian. Mother will not be pleased.”

“Not if you don’t say a word.”

“I don’t need too.”

“This one will be having words with your mother if you put that on the counter” K’arr warned.

“Why?” I was curious.

“It’s not a book for your age.”

“I’ve seen Husbar read it” Sayori explained; “Mother gave him the stick when she found it.”

That was enough for me to put the book right back.

“Wise choice” K’arr chuckled.

Droisa started to whine that she wanted to go home.

I sighed; “Sayori, come home when you’ve got your book.”

She nodded.

Droisa was a sweet Khajiit but like any younger sibling, she could be trying. Mother had problems getting her to eat all her food and she’d already received the feared stick a few times – mildy because of her age – for talking back and trying to pick fights.

And now, she was picking up our other siblings’ bad habits. Jaharda’s temper, Elahabh’s laziness….

“Regit!”

I stopped and saw my Argonian class mate and occasional girlfriend – Beeween - run to me in panic.

“What is it?”

I already guessed before the Argonian struggled to speak; “Sayori – the Sirbus’s got her! They’re at the fountain!”

“Take care of Droisa” I begged before running back to the book store.

From what I heard from my friends in the crowd, Tsajarra and Thender saw me and Droisa leave and knew Sayori would be alone. And once she got out, they dragged her to an open space where a broken fountain was. It was a popular spot for the young to play, only for Khajiit like the Sirbus’s to spoil.

Tsajarra and Thender pushed her and shoved her. Sayori didn’t defend herself and the crowd were too terrified and intrigued to move.

Her new book was safe in her arms until Thender grabbed it and tore it aprt.

When I finally got there, I was shocked to see my sister on top of him.

“Sayori!” I pushed past our classmates to get to her.

I struck my sister with my back paw, sending her to the ground and I put myself between her and Thender.

Coming to her senses, she cowered and curled up.

I turned to Thender.

Thender’s face was a mess.

“What’s going on here?” I asked the stunned crowd.

Thender staggered away; “The Khajiit is a monster!”

“Say it again” I hissed.

“Control your twin!” Tsajarra yelled as she ran after her brother.

I hated those two.

“Let’s hope no adult saw that” said one of the cubs, “not that we will forget. Thender will not be having a pleasant time with us reminding him that he got beat by a girl.”

The crowd took humour and like that, they lost interest in us and went on with their games.

Beeween apologised to us both and offered to take us to her home. I declined the kind offer and Droisa was back in my charge.

I turned to my twin.

In her panic, she mistook my surprise for disgust; “I didn’t mean it! Regit, I’m sorry!”

“Hey” I took her shoulder; “Does this one look mad to you? Calm down.”

“Mama’s going to be mad” Droisa said unhelpfully.

I shushed her and went back to consoling my twin; “what was that about?”

She shook her head.

“You can tell me”.

“I don’t know I…..” She rubbed an eye; “I had saved up for that book. K’arr gave it to me for half the price…..”

I then saw something on the ground torn to shreds.

I growled; “Thender ripped it up?”

Sayori, showing real disappointment, nodded; “_The Warriors Charge_”

“That’s a book about magic is it not?” I frowned; “Magic is dangerous.”

“Restoration is not.”

And in front of me, Sayori performed that very spell to heal her wounds.

“Can you teach me?” Droisa got excited.

I hid my own excitement; “Mother is going to kill you.”

Sayori finished her spell; “I know.” She picked up her book; “Maybe she’ll fix my book at least.”

“I’m not sure she’ll even do that” I was very sorry; “you know how she’s been with you these past few weeks. With you and books.”

Sayori didn’t want to talk about it; “let’s get it over with.”


	9. The Book

We didn’t need to tell Mother anything. Word in Rimmon spreads fast.

Jahadra for once, was impressed with her little sister; “they say Thender’s face made his mother faint.”

Fash’rin, as predicted, was not; “It’s not a good thing. That family has already lost someone.”

Thender and Tsajarra’s brother had since been executed. Mother had refused to let us young ones see it, though our four older siblings did.

Now, mother stood with her folded arms, a sign she was not too happy.

This one tried to think of every excuse but knew it was fruitless. Mother knew my schemes too well.

“Why use your fists at all?” Mother asked; “You could have just tried to run and tell someone.”

Sayori tried to think of an answer.

“I’m waiting.”

“I don’t know.”

“You’re the smart one Sayori, you must have an answer.”

“I had saved up to get the book and I… I have a headache.”

“Thender used his fists too” I had to get involved; “he started it. Beeween said so.”

“Regit, if you don’t want your sister in more trouble, be silent.” She took the remains of Sayori’s book that I held; “What was it you bought?”

“Can you fix it?” Sayori was hopeful.

“No promises.” Mother muttered.

She spread the pages out on the table, ignoring the silence in the room as the rest of her children watched on. Fash’rin was busy with some fish she had caught and pretended not to show interest in what was going on.

Then she performed a spell.

“Mother?” Jahadra was shocked.

The book was fixed.

Mother had to chuckle at Jahadra’s reaction; “Why buy chairs you tend to break when you can learn some magic to fix things?”

I expected my older sister to explode but was surprised when she sheepishly giggled with embarrassment.

Mother picked up the book and looked at the title.

Her smile faded.

“This book is dangerous.”

Her eyes turned dangerous as they looked at my twin.

“It won’t explode will it?” Sayori asked.

Mother suddenly struck my twin with the book; “Necromancy!”

Everyone jumped in surprise, me included. Droisa hid under the table.

“Necromancy! What in Oblivion made you want to learn this?!”

“It’s not Necromancy-” Sayori was shaken.

Mother grabbed her wrist; “Explain this”

“I.. It’s not what you’re saying it is, I-”

“Stop using “I” when speaking to me!”

I don’t think Mother knew quite how to handle Sayori. She loved her as much as the others, but she too could get confused and would show some frustration if Sayori used long words. Added to that, Sayori hardly ever spoke like a khajiit did, even though her own twin spoke – as Battleborn says – in “third person”.

Even the temperamental Jahadra, who liked to argue and praised us for actions mother disproved of, seemed shocked that her little sister was in trouble. She sat with our equally shocked brother Husbar at the table while Fash’rin continued to scale the fish and pretend she was not watching. Elahbah muttered about some work outside but mother turned on him and reminded him he had already done his work and to stay in. Droisa sat on the ground, backing nearer and nearer under the table.

Sayroi bowed her head, unable to say anymore.

Mother let go in frustration and dropped the book on the floor. I picked it up and hid it behind my back. No one stopped me.

Mother gave herself a moment to calm down before turning back to my twin;

“For someone who apparently got a beating too, you look well”

Sayori and I looked at each other, unsure of mother’s mood.

“Well Sayori?”

“Mother?”

“Either someone has used restoration on you – or you did it yourself. Which one is it?”

“Me”.

She looked at me; “Regit?”

I shrugged, apologetically to my sister but still answered to Mother; “I can’t do magic.”

Mother waved her hand and a blue cloud covered Sayori.

“We may not know how it is you learn so quickly, but this is something you will have trouble knowing how to get rid of it.”

Sayori seemed to forget she was in trouble as she marvelled at the cloud as it disappeared.

“You have not seen this magic and this one hopes you never see it again. It prevents those targeted from using magic for an extended time.”

“Why not do that in the first place?” Jahadra dared to ask.

“Since you asked, because Sayori has proved she is careful. We just don’t want her to use restoration for now.”

I immediately realised what mother planned to do; “Mother-!”

“Regit. Not now”

“Thender provoked this and the book-!”

“Do you want this as well?”

“Regit”

I looked at my twin.

“Please.” She begged; her eyes wide.

I couldn’t save her. She didn’t want me to try. I had to back down for now. Husbar got up from the table and took my arm, dragging me gently away from my sister.

“Go upstairs Sayori.” Mother ordered in a rather soft tone.

Sayori obeyed quickly.

Mother picked up the cruel “stick” from the fireplace and started to follow my sister.

I tried again; “Mama, please.”

She ignored me and left me with the rest of my siblings.

Jahadra broke the silence; “This one cannot understand why we are surprised it came to this.”

This was the first and only time I remember my mother doing this to my twin. Sayori was such a sweet, nice and well-behaved child. For a khajiit. It was almost a once in a life time event that we all stopped to listen, knowing that if we didn’t, we may never hear it again.

It must have been less than a minute that I stood there like a dumb guard, listening to my twin who was suffering. It was a like a spell had taken over me.

Droisa broke the spell; “Why isn’t she crying?”

I blinked.

She was right. Sayori wasn’t crying.

In fact, she was barely reacting.

And the sound of the stick seemed to go on and on.

Without realising I was doing it, I ran upstairs and burst open the door to my room. I then jumped on the bed and covered my sister with my body.

I felt mother’s hold on my collar; “Regit, outside.”

I snarled and held on.

My siblings appeared from the door and Fash’rin helped my mother remove me despite my loud protests.

Mother pointed the stick at me; “Behave like that, and it’ll only be worse for your sister.”

I had to calm down despite my frustrated tears.

We stayed in the other bedroom while mother continued, leaving the door open so we could see everything.

As she had done with me and my siblings, Mother had Sayori lie on her bed with her shirt off so her back was exposed. The stick, small but swift, loudly cracked on impact making us flinch at the sound.

Still no cries from Sayori.

She was feeling it for sure. Her fists were clenched and she squirmed after each stroke but that was it. Not even Husbar, the toughest of us, could get through this without howling. Her tail wasn’t even swinging.

I wanted to shout or say something for it to stop, but Husbar now held me and warned me to be quiet.

Fash’rin did it for me; “Mother?”

Mother paused and looked at her.

“She…..” Fash’rin gestured to her little sister.

Mother was no monster, bending down so she could see her child’s face; “Sayori?”

The kitten looked up.

No sign of tears.

No sign of pain in her face either.

Us siblings looked at each other in surprise.

“A few more” Mother said.

Those strokes were hard, especially for someone as small and young as Sayori. I doubt mother intended to hurt her like this, but she had not expected such a silent reaction.

When she finally stopped, she was clearly perplexed; “Sayori?”

Sayori looked up at her.

Mother’s voice was still soft but there was clear disappointment; “Remember this. You bring anymore books on necromancy in this house, you will not be welcome back. It is evil. More evil than becoming a bandit even.” She turned to us; “Learn from this example.”

Usually we would all say “Yes” but no one spoke this time.

Still silent, Sayori struggled to curl herself up into a ball. Her eyes were sad.

The fact there were no tears somehow made it worse for mother; “Did the God’s send you for me to suffer?”

Sayori didn’t move.

“Talk to me. Answer me!”

“If they did.” Sayori’s voice had no power; “I will drown myself.”

I saw mother’s face show some horror at those words.

But she turned to her daughter with a glare; “How could you say such a stupid thing?”

Sayori didn’t answer.

Mother struck her on the back.

Apart from a flinch, no reaction.

I was no stranger to that stick. I knew how much it hurt. I wondered how my meek little sister could take it so well. Better even, than me. That stick used to make me scream the house down. I remembered all my siblings crying their eyes out.

But not meek little Sayori. The one who was scared of the dark and making people angry.

Mother did her dahm hardest to get more than a flinch as she carried on, her kind face no longer there as the stick struck harder and harder. It seemed that way anyway.

Sayori’s body was trembling now as she stared ahead. For once, I could not read what my twin was thinking.

Husbar’s hold of me got tighter as I tried to go forwards.

Then the stick broke.

Mother let it drop and slumped on the wall, exhausted.

Sayori buried herself in her arms and didn’t move.

Still no sound.

Mother could no longer hide her astonishment as she panted and stared at her child.

Then Droisa began to cry.

Droisa’s crying got mother’s attention; “Fash’rin, take your sister downstairs.”

My siblings silently followed their sisters down, no longer having the stomach to watch this sad scene.

I went straight to my room and sat with my sister.

She flinched when I touched her.

“Sayori?” I whispered.

“Please don’t.” she begged.

I wished and cursed myself that I did not know restoration.


	10. Lessons

Fur makes wounds invisible for none khajiit kind but I could see where Mother’s stick had landed and I sensed strongly that they were deep.

Perhaps too deep for one so young.

Mother just stood looking out the window. Defeated it seemed.

At the time, I didn’t care if mother was ashamed. My twin, even if she didn’t voice it, was hurt, and I wished I knew how to use restoration.

“Mother, please let her heal herself” I begged. “She wouldn’t have touched that book if she knew it was dangerous.”

Mother closed her eyes and left us.

“Sayori?” I tried to get her attention.

She struggled to move; “You have my book?”

“Yes.”

Sayori looked at the window; “there’s a pipe we can both slide down from.”

“Sayori?”

“I have to show our master the book. Maybe he can fix it.”

“But you’re-”

“It is not necromancy Regit. I know what it is and I’d never thought of studying it. He’s the only one Mother will listen to.”

“You’re hurt.”

“I would like to know the spell she used, that would be fascinating…..” Sayori opened the window.

Usually it was me that led us to mischief; “If anyone asks, this was my idea.”

“Why?”

“Because your brother will not stand by again when this happens.”

Sayori gave me a meek smile.

We went down the pipe – Sayori couldn’t help but groan lightly as she landed – and went into the city. It was quiet, so no one noticed us or that Sayori was in pain.

I was the one who knocked on Master Sōshō’s door and when he answered, I was unprepared for his reaction. I had assumed he would tell us to go away since class was long gone. But he knew straight away that something was wrong when he saw me and my sister.

He let us in and immediately noticed Sayori’s discomfort; “Child, did someone hurt you?”

“Mother did” I answered. I showed him the book; “She said this book was necromancy.”

Sōshō sat Sayori down; “Regit, tell me the whole story.”

So I did. I told him about the Sirbus’s ripping apart Sayori’s new book to her the fight, and then mother’s reaction when she fixed and then saw what she thought the book was. How Sayori had tried to explain but was silenced. And then the beating.

“Why did you run away?” Sōshō asked, “you could have explained when she calms down.”

“Mother is not very patient with me, Master” Sayori answered.

“She is a Mage.”

“She doesn’t like to admit she’s in the wrong either” I said, remembering her spats with Jahadra and sometimes even Fash’rin.

To be fair, mother usually was always right. Just not this time.

“Why haven’t you used restoration on yourself?” Sōshō got the answer straight away without our answering; “Oh by Oblivion.”

The same blue cloud we had seen appeared. Then Sōshō himself put his paw on her back and like that, she was no longer in pain.

Sort of. She was doubled up, and I knew the anxiety was bad when she did that.

“Mother will be angry….” She answered our Master’s silent question.

“No doubt” Sōshō agreed; “But I’m sure she’ll realise her mistake.” He turned to me; “Do you understand the mistake?”

I had to admit I didn’t.

“Your sister’s book is not about Necromancy. This one doubts Sayori would want to raise the dead.”

I felt myself shudder; “That sounds evil.”

“It is. And is your sister evil?”

“No Master Sōshō.”

“And your mother is not stupid. Or, I hope not.”

As if on cue, we heard a knock.

“Stay here” Sōshō went to the door.

I whispered a swear word.

Mother had come looking for Sayori after a while and found we were gone. Jahadra was the one who suggested where we would be so Mother decided to go looking before the city would be told we were missing.

Mother, not seeing Sōshō came in; “Sayori? Regit?”

She was and looked very worried. When she saw us, she marched up;

“Why are you here? I’ve been worried!”

“We-” I started to explain.

“They’re safe”.

Mother froze when she heard her old Master’s voice.

I too went quiet, nervous and a little curious what this was leading too.

“This one has taken the liberty to fix your daughter’s book.” Sōshō showed her it; “as well as removed her wounds and your magic.”

If it was any other khajiit, mother would have said they had no right to do that.

“Haven’t you seen the book?” Mother was confused.

“Yes. Conjuration for a Novice. Harmless.” Sōshō gave it to me; “so long as my students practice it outside the house, it should be safe.” He nodded at me; “Regit says you thought it was Necromancy.”

“Conjuration-”

“Is not Necromancy. Necromancy is raising the dead. All this is how to conjure up small, unreal animals.” Sōshō turned to my sister; “You like animals Sayori?”

Sayori looked too terrified to speak.

Sōshō turned back to mother; “Why did you use a tranquil spell on a child?”

His voice was now grim.

“It was in the moment decision-”

“No, you’ve been thinking about it for a long time. When you suspect your cubs may be harmed, you act. You’re afraid they’ll get hurt. By magic or by persecution. And you’re Sayori has already gone through much just for being the odd one among all your cubs. You are afraid for your child.”

“Sayori is too young to understand this much about magic. I’ve seen her practicing her archery and sword work, she is too quick to learn.”

“And that’s a problem?”

“It’s not normal Sōshō. She knows too much for her age.”

“There’s no such thing as too much.” Our master looked at my twin; “Sayori has the gift of a wonderful memory. She may not even need my assistance by next year.”

“It’s not normal.”

“What is normal? Too many young people are getting hooked on skooma or moon sugar and you have a child addicted to learning. What’s the problem?”

“Elahbah has moon sugar under the bed.” I said innocently.

Mother pretended she hadn’t heard me; “My problem is that my child is going to get hurt.”

“Everyone gets hurt Karina. Sayori has to learn to how to take the insults and the cruelty life will throw at her. You can’t hide her from that fact.”

“Sayori is different.”

“Intelligent, and from all accounts of what happened at the fountain, a brave young thing. Qualities rare these days. She could become something great.”

I wonder if Sōshō knew just how great.

Mother wasn’t done; “Karina cannot rise this child without Urjabil. I have four adult children who resent me and three with no father. The last time we spoke, he said that girl made him uneasy and she would give us trouble. If he was here, he would know how to deal with this cub-”

Sōshō stayed calm; “The child is not at fault. Urjabil was no father to your four cubs and from my talks, they respect and love you dearly.”

“I do” I said; “Just not when you beat Sayori.”

“Especially not to the extent my restoration was used for.”

I saw our master’s eyes show some colour and I was frightened into staying still. I almost forgot Sayori was still in the room watching and listening to all this.

“She wouldn’t cry” Mother sounded and looked ashamed; “she didn’t even flinch.”

“A sense of wrong can do that to children.”

Mother raised her arms and let them fall back in despair; “What am I supposed to do with her?”

“You love her the same as you love and loved all your children. You do not need to pretend you don’t understand her. Learn to. Encourage her growth. Stop fearing the worst. She has her own brother watching out for her, and your have a community willing to watch for you. Stop being so scared.”

“What if she is hurt?”

“Things happen Karina. You know that better than anyone.”

Mother growled; “You will not bring up my past old one.”

“You have given your children a good start in life, better than your own. You are already doing so much good for them all. Do not give up because you’ve stumbled over one child.”

We all suddenly heard soft, whimpery crying.

Sayori stood with her head bowed, holding her paws together, tears falling down her face.

This was the first time I had seen Sayori like this. Even when easily scared, she never cried. I rushed to her but Sōshō took my shoulder.

“Your daughter needs you Karina” he said, as softly as his gruff voice could go.

Mother bent down to her daughter’s level; “Sayori…..”

Sayori head bowed even further, struggling to look Mother in the eye.

Mother put her paw on her shoulder; “We both need to work together to help each other. This is a lot for you, I… We… I know, but I trust you.”

Sayori was able to look at her; “I have a headache….”

Sōshō came near; “Take her home. Give yourself a day of two off – learn about your daughter.” He turned to Sayori; “And you.”

Sayori looked at him.

“How much have you learned from this book?”

Sayori stuttered through her tears; “Master Sōshō, I only got through the first two pages.”

“Show me.”

Sayori looked at our mother.

“Go on” Mother said, her voice gentle.

Sayori closed her wet eyes and put her hand out.

Before us, a small wolf appeared. Then Sayori dropped her paw and it vanished.

“Two pages?” Mother was stunned.

“Harmless” Sōshō was impressed. “This one looks forward to seeing what you’ve learned once you are done with the book.”

“If it’s all the same, I don’t want to trouble my mother.”

“Why can’t the young stop reacting to their parents and learn to live for themselves?”

I was surprised mother didn’t tell him off for that.

“What do I do to stop making people scared of me?”

“No one is scared of you” Mother said, “we’re scared if you get hurt.”

“And by showing it openly, you’ve made the child fear herself.” Sōshō scolded; “the moment you refused to take your child’s word; you also made her doubt her value to you. Do not make this a habit Karina – especially not with a twin. You may lose two children.”

Mother was still.

He turned back to Sayori; “Never doubt your value child, no matter how easily it is to forget.” He opened the door; “Go home, talk things over and Karina, if coin is what’s keeping you from having a day of rest, you can come to me.”

“Thank you Master” Mother said, taking our paws with each hand and walking us back home.

“Is this one in trouble?” I dared ask.

“No.” Mother then stopped; “though this one wonders how you know Elahbah has moon sugar?”

I told her how I had heard him and a friend she had allowed over talking about the ingredient for skooma and that Elahbah insisted it would be safe under the floorboards of his bed. Mother would never think of that.

“Well he’ll find Mother isn’t so stupid. And you will keep quiet that you found out.”

I wasn’t stupid; “Yes Mother.”

“Am I in trouble?” Sayori asked.

Mother didn’t respond.


	11. Worry

“Where were they?”

Jahadra spoke for our siblings as mother and her twins came in.

Sayori was understandably wary and eager to get away from any more conflict so I silently gestured for us both to go upstairs.

Elahbah and Husbar blocked us from going. Before I could argue, Jahadra had grabbed is both;

“These two ran away! And she brought a necromancy book, they should both get the stick.”

“It wasn’t a necromancy book.” I argued.

“Regit’s right.” Mother admitted. The broken stick was back in its usual place and she fixed it quickly; “they didn’t run away, they were going to come back.”

“How do you know?” Jahadra spat.

“Because I just wanted to get someone’s opinion about the book so there’s no mistakes” Sayori said quietly; “there shouldn’t be any reason to be angry over that. Why does everyone get so easily angry?”

Mother sat down and became another witness to this new drama.

“Why are you so strange?” Jahadra circled her younger sister; “your family is worried about you; we’re all scared your going to get yourself hurt.”

Sayori didn’t respond.

“You know why mother used that? It’s because she was scared you could have killed yourself. You seek things in books like a mad woman and learn things no child should know. And yet, like all children, you are still innocent. Regit has more sense than you sometimes.”

“It’s not very healthy to worry about things.” Sayori said. To no one in particular.

I sensed something; “Are you alright?”

“No. I’m not.”

She was blunt but also reluctant to admit this to me.

“I’m always in pain.” Sayori remained still; “I think it’s from worrying. It must be.”

“Sayori?” I was worried.

She shook her head and her paws waved; “No one should be worried so stop. Just stop. It hurts so…. Just stop.”

Mother couldn’t stay quiet; “What do you mean?”

“Nothing-”

“Explain yourself.”

“I have these headaches. Sometimes they feel like…. My head may burst. Something wants to come out….”

Jahadra had to get involved; “You’re not making any sense-”

“I’m _trying_!”

Jahadra was silenced.

Surprised at my twin’s outburst, my brothers sat on the steps.

“Sayori?” I tried to get her attention.

Instead, she started to cry again. Softly once more, holding herself tightly.

“Sayori?” Mother got up; “Why do you cry now and not when the stick fell?”

Sayori grabbed her head; “I couldn’t cry when you did that. At least I was feeling pain elsewhere and my head was clear. When you stopped, it came back.”

“Not even the Master’s touch stopped it?”

“No” Sayori shook her head.

Mother tenderly stroked her small khajiit’s fur on her head; “We will try to help you. You’re right. We need to stop worrying so much -”

“Is it magic that’s causing this?” Jahadra asked; “this is why she shouldn’t be learning-”

Sayori suddenly whimpered like someone had stabbed her.

Mother was quick to hold her and try to sooth her.

Jahadra started to panic; “We have to do something, we can’t just let this be. We have to find the mage responsible -”

“Stop” Elahbah said.

“But-”

“Just stop.”

“Then what’s going on?”

“I’m not sure what’s going on” Mother said calmly; “But we’ll find out.”

She pulled Sayori from her hug, and still holding her shoulders, forced her to look at her.

“This will sting a little.” Mother’s voice was gentle.

Her paws went to the bottom of Sayori’s ears.

Mother’s claws turned green.

My heart jumped out of throat as I witnessed Sayori’s eyes close and collapse in my mother’s arms.

“Mother?” Fash’rin voiced our alarm.

Mother calmly picked up my sister; “Go and find a doctor.”

“What did you do?”

“Do as I say.” Mother carried Sayori upstairs; “we’re going to find out what’s going on in this one’s head.”

“Well that was a plot twist” Elahbah quipped.

“I’ll get the doctor” Jahadra was quick to leave.

“Droisa does not understand” My littlest sister said.

I had to admit I did not either.

But I trusted mother. She would help my twin.


	12. The Elf

Our family doctor was yet another khajiit named Dahmer.

Like me and Sayori, he was red furred, but it was greying badly, and he wore an eye patch after one patient attacked him. Even with one eye, he was still the best. Mother had known since they were classmates at classes.

He was an expert in antidotes and Illusion magic, and I believe Mother perhaps hoped his knowledge could give Sayori something that would stop these headache’s.

As I sat downstairs, my memory reminded me of the many times Sayori seemed to be in pain, but I never pressed. Sayori hated making me worry about her. This was her worse nightmare.

Jahadra returned with Dahmer.

And an Elf.

It was a High Elf who looked around with interest and obvious disgust. Our humble home would not have suited him or his family. If he had one.

Mother was clearly not pleased to see this stranger but from Dahmer’s unusual meekness, knew she couldn’t argue. She had to allow this elf into our chambers and watch him help the doctor with her child.

The rest of us watched from the other bedroom. Not a few hours ago, we were doing this but the circumstance was different.

Dahmer examined my twin who lay fast asleep on the bed. Mother was close by while the elf stood where she had before, leaning on the wall with a smirk on his face.

Dahmer took well over half an hour examining Sayori before putting the covers back; “these headache’s have been going on for some time?”

“This one believes so.” Mother answered.

“Honestly, the Master may be right is his concerns, children think little of themselves when they feel no value in them. Let her wake up in her own time and try to keep her busy. I’ll leave you with an antidote that should clear her head for a few hours if it gets too bad, a glass of warm milk will help too-”

“So, it’s not magic?” Jahadra asked.

“If it was magic, I’m sure your sister wouldn’t be here.”

“Will my child be reliant on antidotes?” Mother was not keen on that idea.

“My hope is as she gets older, she’ll need less. For now, monitor how frequently theses headache’s appear and give her it in small doses.”

Meanwhile the elf was holding my sister’s head with a very interested look on his face.

“The khajiit is…. Unusually intelligent.”

Mother did not like having this stranger touch her child but Dahmer, subtly with his claws, warned her not to say anything.

The elf turned to mother; “Are all your khajiit this intelligent?”

“All my cubs are.”

She was politely telling him to mind his own business.

“I sense a lot of power from this child. Great strength of spirit. Could go on to do great things with the right upbringing. Or connections.” He put his hand out; “Honndil Granan of the Altmer dominion. I’ve been assigned to study how the residents of Rimmon use their doctors. Dahmer here was been kind enough to allow me to come and I must say, this has been my most interesting visit.”

I immediately did not like this elf.

Mother shook his hand but spoke to Dahmer; “So there’s nothing unusual that we should worry about?”

“There’s nothing unusual Karina. An intelligent khajiit yes, perhaps its inactivity causes pressure or too much activity. You must monitor what the child does.”

“All she does is read.” Jahadra said.

“Not helping” Fash’rin growled.

I saw a movement on the bed and ran past the elf to my sister. I whispered to her that there was a stranger. That was enough for her to stay quiet.

The elf came back in; “Is the little one alright?”

“Yes sir” I answered.

““Sir?” How quaint”.

Mother came in and bent down; “How is your head? Still sore?”

Sayori nodded.

She was scared of the elf.

“Try the antidote Karina. Let her rest for today but starting tomorrow, keep her busy.”

“We may meet again.” Honndil said. His “warmness” didn’t translate well.

Once it was clear he was out of the house, Sayori turned to me;

“Suddenly my head isn’t so sore.”


	13. Murder

The treatment Dahmer requested was followed through to the point where mother even allowed Sayori to read as much as she wanted. It seemed to help too, as it distracted her and whenever asked if her head bothered, she would say “not as much”.

After that crazy day, I had to stay home from classes when I too got sick. It was a nasty bug that had been going around the city. Husbar and Droisa also caught it so Mother took the week off work to take care of them, always remembering to give Sayori what she felt was the right antidote.

Sayori and I did not like being apart because we were still young and unsure how to cope without the other one there. I spoke for her and she made me behave. Sometimes.

Sayori did have her mischievous side. She was a lot more self-aware than our mother or even our brothers and sisters gave her credit and if she felt this one especially was wronged; she would find a way to get revenge. If an adult khajiit said something against me, they would find their pockets were picked by her swift hands or a nasty rumour could be spread. After all, from Sayori’s lips, anything sounded right. Mother and this one were the only ones who could spot a lie.

I do not remember much fights. Maybe a few disagreements that ended with marks on our noses but not much. We were the typical twins who seemed to know what the other was thinking, even with Sayori’s brighter mind sometimes getting in the way, and when forced apart, we seemed to struggle.

Mother even mentioned how I wasn’t at all brave while sick, reminding me how Sayori had suffered a severe beating and didn’t cry. And here I was whining after her because my stomach was sore, a problem that would be solved if I was brave enough to swallow the antidote. No brother wants to be told their sister is tougher than they are but it was hard for me to swallow the bitter taste. Had Sayori been there, I knew I wouldn’t have complained so much.

I was well enough to go to class on the final day but mother kept me in just in case, something I never quite forgave her for.

Sayori came home but she wasn’t alone.

Beeween was with her.

“Has something happened?” Mother asked the young Argonian. Sayori wasn’t the twin who bought friends round.

“We’ve……” Beeween looked at my sister; “we’ve all had a bad day-”

Sayori suddenly spoke; “Master Sōshō is gone”.

We all looked at her.

“Yes” Beeween nodded; “A high elf came in and asked to speak to him. We heard some noise and then the elf left. Master was on the floor.”

“Do your parents know?” Mother took a hold of Sayori and pressed her against her.

“No, I’m just heading back now.”

“Go quickly and take care.”

Beeween left us in shock.

“Was it the same elf who was with Dahmer?” Mother asked, still holding Sayori.

My twin nodded.

“By on the floor…?” Fash’rin asked.

“What do you think?” Jahadra answered; “the elf killed him.”

Mother focussed on Sayori; “He didn’t speak to you did he?”

Sayori removed herself from mother’s hold; “Can I go to bed?”

“Of course.”

Once Sayori was out of the room, I felt everyone’s eyes and knew what to do.

If mother couldn’t get Sayori to talk, I could.

I went straight to the point when we were along; “What did Beeween mean?”

“Thender got his father down and he told is all to go home. If he’s been alive, they would have told us there was nothing to worry about.”

“Thender’s father is no doctor”

“He did feel the old cat’s pulse.” Sayori held herself; “He wasn’t breathing.”

I didn’t know what to say; “Did…. Mother asked if he spoke to you?”

“I don’t want to worry you.”

“You’re worrying me when you don’t answer.”

Sayori swallowed; “He mentioned to Sōshō that he’d come to discuss a student of his and he…..”

“Did he say it was you?”

Sayori didn’t answer me; “I heard them arguing in the office.”

“Did anyone else?”

“No I just…. They only reacted to the big noise. But I heard them say things…. Sōshō was very angry and said “it shouldn’t be done” and the elf said that “one old cat wasn’t going to stop him””. Sayori began to shake; “then the noise and he came back and he.... Then just left. The door was open and we could see Sōshō on the floor. And then Tsajarra started screaming, Thender said he’d get his father and the rest of us didn’t know what to do.”

Mother suddenly came in.

“This one heard a little” she sat on the bed with us; “are you sure it was the same elf?”

“He had a funny name. Hona… Hon….. Honndil……? Granan. His second name was Granan.”

“Then it was.”

“What are we going to do?” I asked.

“You both and Droisa will not be going back to class. Whoever they replace won’t be as good.”

“What about the elf? Shouldn’t he be arrested?”

“It’s completed Regit. Even if the law says he did a terrible thing, he is protected. We owe the elves for what they did the moons.”

“I don’t think this one elf did help us.” Sayori said softly; “he is a murderer.”

“The worst thing we can do is approach him.” Mother warned; “and I’m going to tell the others this, but if you see him near the house, hide. And you, young ones will stay indoors until he goes away.”

Even after so many years, Sayori still doesn’t like to talk about this day. Even if, as Dragonborn, she’s had to see many die by her own hand.

But Sōshō was the father figure that we both had. To lose him was a terrible lesson that everything has an end. Even the lives of friends.

We would learn that the lives of family too would end all to shortly.


	14. Prey

I don’t remember much about the funeral expect it was large and a lot of young khajiit were in tears.

Sayori and I clung to our mother as the rain poured. I think she was the one who struggled the most. Sōshō remained her teacher even when she left class. He always had the door open for her and other khajiit. He was respected even in death.

The elf responsible for his death wasn’t at his wake. Or else, we didn’t notice him. And we didn’t see him for weeks.

True to her word, mother kept us from class. Droisa was happy to stay at home but the twins were frustrated with this.

I couldn’t go out to practice with my swords, Sayori her bow, without someone watching us. And Husbar seemed too agitated to allow us to be outside for long. The others were no help either. Especially Jahadra who, I realise now, was just very frightened.

It was frustrating. Sayori still had her books, but she loved being outside just as much as me. We could never sneak out as we did the last time, mother had made sure to have a window lock put in.

After several weeks though, mother and our siblings relaxed a little and things went back to normal. Except we still didn’t attend class, and stories about the new Master that Beeween and others brought to us, made it clear mother was right.

“They say he actually beats anyone who cannot study fast enough” I remember telling mother over dinner.

“Master Sōshō would have sat down and helped them catch up” mother wasn’t pleased; “and nor does he have any right to beat someone’s else’s child.”

Sayori’s headaches still came and went but, as mother had decided, she rarely used the antidote and would lie down or go to her room for some space. I never left her side. Sometimes she would lay on my knees and I would hum Mother’s lullabies.

“I swear your voice only makes my headache worse” she once quipped as we practiced with our sword and shield.

She was getting better at the sword but her defence was a lot to be desired.

Husbar was in a bad mood that day; “Sayori, use both when fighting!”

“Fash’rin tells me he’s started courting and already regrets it” my sister whispered as she struck me with the wooden sword, and I blocked it.

“What’s your ideal marriage partner?” I asked.

“Haven’t thought about it.”

“Boy or girl” I shrugged; “so long as they’re there for me as much as we’re there for each other.”

“A pleasant thought.”

It was the elf.

I heard Husbar cough in panic as he raced up to us; “Regit, Sayori, come on.”

“Now now young man. I’m not about to frighten these children. I’m just glad to see you out and about – Sayori is it?”

Sayori didn’t even look at me to respond. She was scared he might do something to me.

I still spoke; “She doesn’t like talking to people she doesn’t really know.”

“That will change. My colleagues and I will be around until the summer. I hope we get to know each other better till then.”

“Thank you” Husbar sounded like he’d been stung by bees; “I’m sorry for my rudeness, but we are really out of time.”

“Why did you kill Master Sōshō?”

Me and my brother turned to our sister in alarm.

“I’m afraid it was something that went out of hand young one. Master Sōshō was never one to admit his mistakes and I am not one to take no for an answer.”

“He would not have got angry without a good reason.”

The elf’s condescending smile faded; “I hope your mother teaches you to watch your tongue. You have no idea who your talking to.”

And with that he was gone.

The next thing I remember is Husbar holding us both by the scruff of our necks, Jahadra telling him to let go until he told her what had happened.

“You idiot!” she yelled at Sayori.

More yelling and demands of answers but my twin didn’t speak nor struggled when Husbar threw her to the ground, took mother’s stick and beat her back – much harder than mother ever did. Jahadra held me as I begged him to stop while Droisa cired helplessly in her corner.

Sayor’s suffering didn’t last long though as Mother and Fash’rin came in to see this spectacle.

Free from Jahadra, I rushed to Sayori’s side and tried to perform the restoration spell she had tried to teach me. I couldn’t do it.

“You two, take your place at the table and don’t talk until I say so.”

Fash’rin and Droisa stayed in their corner, holding each other as their brother and sister obeyed.

Mother then bent down and performed the spell better than I could have and then picked Sayori up. She put her paws under her cobs face and studied it; “Are you alright?”

“I think so.”

“No tears?”

Sayori moved away, uncomfortable with her face being touched; “I don’t feel like crying.”

We both heard mother mutter under her breath; “not normal…” She turned to me; “What was that about?”

I was honest with her. I had learned from my early life that lying even for Sayori’s sake made things worse.

“You asked the High Elf why he murdered Master Sōshō?” Mother could not hide her shock and horror.

“That’s why we-”

“Husbar, silence.” She turned back to Sayori; “explain this.”

“Someone had to ask him-”

“And what made you think that you should?”

“No one else was going too.”

“If Jahadra and Husbar were right about one thing, you should not have asked him that or discussed Master Sōshō”.

“So, we must pretend nothing happened?”

Mother had been prepared to tell off our older brother and sister so was stopped at Sayori’s insistence to argue.

Even I was surprised; “Sayori-”

She pushed my paw away; “He _knew_ he was going to die. That last week – when everyone was sick – he took me into his office and said things that I didn’t understand. Someone was after him. They wanted information. Then he burned something in front of me and promised that he was going to do everything he could that – that hopefully, they would lose interest.”

“What in Oblivion did you do to her?” Mother hissed at Jahadra and Husbar. To Sayori; “who are they?”

“He said they were elves in hoods.”

Mother knew straight away; “Oh sweet Akatosh….”

“And if it’s what I think it is, then yes, I can ask him that. If no one else would, _I_ would.”

Sayori wasn’t showing any immature anger but it was there – the anger – in her fists and her eyes.

I tried again; “Sayori?”

Again, she tried to push me away, but I grabbed her wrists.

“Sayori!” I held on and mother came to the other side and held her still.

She was gentle; “You two go and sit at the stairs and calm down.”

Sayori didn’t struggle as I led her to the top stairs.

Mother picked up the stick which had been dropped from Husbar’s paw; “Did your sister cry when you hit her as hard as I saw you do?”

“No Mother.”

Mother looked up to where Sayori – resting her head between her knees – was sitting beside me.

“Not normal…..”

Before Mother could then punish Jahadra and Husbar, Elahbah suddenly ran in and slammed the door.

Elahbah’s eyes were wide; “He was just standing there.”

Mother knew; “where is he now?”

“He walked away. But he asked me how my little sister was doing. He said he might visit.”

I grabbed Sayori’s wrist. She was already alert.

Jahadra left the table and stood at the bottom of the stairs; “Why is he after you?”

Sayori shook her head in response. She didn’t know. How could she?

“You must have said or done something to get his attention in the first place, what have you done?”

“Jahadra -” Mother spoke up.

For once, her daughter ignored her tone; “Sayori, it was you who bought that book, ran away to Master Sōshō, worried mother about your headaches that got him in our house. If it wasn’t for you, Dahmer would have stayed in his office and that elf would never know us.”

I stood between them, holding my sister’s wrist tightly. Jahadra ignored me.

“It’s because of you the master is dead. That elf came in to see you, we all know that. You’ve heard the rumours.”

“What rumours?”

Mother finally stopped Jahadra.

Fash’rin spoke up; “They say the elf wants to study a cub he met while with Dahmer.”

“And who is saying _that_?”

“In the tavern” Husbar answered.

“In the mines” Jahadra had run out of energy.

Sayori grabbed her head and groaned quietly.

“Regit,” Mother addressed me in a soft tone; “take your sister’s antidote and go to your room.”

“It’s not my fault….”

Sayori started muttering as I ran downstairs.

“What isn’t?” Mother asked.

Sayori looked up; “Master Sōshō didn’t die because of me. He said if anything happened, I was to make sure that no one thought it was my fault.”

“But what did you do?” Jahadra asked.

“I don’t owe _you _an explanation”.

“Didn’t we ask you to sit at the table?” Mother asked calmly.

Jahadra meekly obeyed. She didn’t even try to trip me up as she sometimes tried to when she was in trouble because of one or both twins.

“Things have never been right with her anyway.” Husbar muttered.

He thought he said it quietly, but everyone heard him.

The next thing we heard was the door slam.

And Sayori was gone.

Mother rushed to the window.

None of us dared to speak.

She suddenly turned her head; “You two, I want this house cleaned from top to bottom. When I’m back, I want you both in beds with your backs ready! No one leaves the house.” And she took a shawl, then her steel sword and ran after my twin.

The others obeyed but this one snuck out. My siblings didn’t stop me. They knew I was only concerned for my twin.

Sayori didn’t go far. She went around the corner where we had left our wooden weapons.

She was breathing heavily which I wasn’t used to hearing.

She grabbed my toy sword and threw it around until it hit a tree. She ran up to it and her claws came out.

I hid myself in a bush and stayed quiet.

Sayori’s claws blindly lashed out at the tree with such ferocity that it frightened me.

Mother watched from a safe distance until all the energy seemed to have left my twin. Sayori allowed herself to collapse at the foot of the tree and she clasped her paws together as if trying to push her emotion back in.

“Let it out” Mother was close and her voice gentle, “it will only feel worse next time.”

Sayori grabbed her ears and groaned as if in pain.

Mother bent down and held her; “Sayori…..” My sister struggled; “No. No….”

In Mother’s arms, Sayori finally wept.

Mother wisely let her child cry before she spoke; “Doesn’t that feel better? Yes? You are less tense than you have been for a long time.”

“The tree….”

“The tree is alright.”

Sayori may have had the brains of the family, but her heart and imagination was just as big;

“It’s hurt….”

“Not as much as you.”

Sayori seemed to forget her own woe as she looked up at mother, confused.

“How long have you kept that inside? That anger?”

“I do not know.”

“This one saw her cub seemed different when the sun got warmer. At first, I thought it was the start of the silly season’s all little girls go through but then you seemed to be in the company of the shadows. You made me worried. Now, for the first time, I see fire in your eyes. You’re not who you think you are. Perhaps none of us truly know yet.”

“Fire?”

“You seek something. Perhaps glory. Perhaps a longing to feel acceptance for something you feel you can’t show. What are you hiding from this one? A certain, strength of spirit? Why keep something like that hidden?”

“I’m not strong Mama-”

“This one will not have a daughter of hers say things like that!” Mother was stern again; “our family has no “weak” members. You are not a speck of dust in my house for us to sweep away, you are my daughter. My daughters will be confident, smart and loving and they will not think to themselves that they are useless or weak. I will not have it.”

My twin clutched her ears which she did when troubled.

Mother put her paw under my sister’s chin and dropped her tone; “Sayori, from the moment you and Regit were born, we were all quick to see that you were special. Even the wise men seemed both troubled and inspired when you were taken to find out your destiny.”

“What is it?”

“You know how vague they are. But one said you may safe us all. Whether that’s our city, your family or – let’s pretend – the whole of Tamriel – you are destined for great things. In the meantime, you need to stop believing this nonsense. Learn to love yourself.”

“Am I….. Going to get the stick for this?”

“You do not need the stick to see reason Sayori. You’re smart enough to stay out of trouble. Or you should be-”

Her ears suddenly picked up a sound.

Sayori’s did too.

“Get behind me.” Mother whispered.

I hid myself further into the bush.


	15. Burn

It was the elf again. He seemed to appear quite suddenly behind the very tree Sayori had attacked.

The elf was playing polite; “I didn’t mean to scare you both.” He put his large hands on the tree; “someone was very angry weren’t they?”

Sayori held my mother’s coat tightly.

“What do you want from us elf?” Mother dared ask.

“Curiosity. If I may say – whilst I’ve met any khajiit, I had never seen a khajiit child before until Dahmer showed me your house. I was led to believe they were blind. Like Falmour.”

“I do not know what you speak of.”

“I see you do not speak in third person?”

“Not when I am talking to another race. I was an adventurer. A guide so to say. I learned to pick up habits of the many adventurer’s who wanted to see our land. And I learned quickly that there was more coin if I spoke like them.”

“And you stopped to raise a child?”

“That’s right.”

“Seven cubs.”

“Yes.”

The elf gave a smile to my sister; “your mother has sacrificed a lot for you little one. I hope you are grateful.” His smile faded; “I do not like the way she looks at me.”

“My child is very shy.” Mother picked Sayori up; “I will have to go.”

“I have connections in need for a khajiit” the elf stopped her; “I doubt you would want to pass that opportunity.”

“We should talk some other time -”

She suddenly screamed in agony.

The elf’s hand was out and I saw sparks pouring out.

Sayori was pushed aside by mother to avoid the sparks and she stood, more terrified that I had seen her.

“Sayori.” The elf spoke gentler to her; “I now see where your early rudeness comes from.” His hand threw some more sparks and mother screamed again, her body shaking in the grass; “I don’t want to scare you Sayori, but this is a sight young people like you should start getting used to. A khajiit liked you has nothing left in a place like this.”

The pain disappeared for mother as she got up quickly and stared at the elf; “I meant no disrespect!”

“You hate elf’s. It’s clear to see.”

He put his hand out once again. This time to Sayori.

“No!” Mother went as near as she could go; “You will not use that magic to hurt my child!”

“I have no intention of hurting children unless I have to”.

“Mother?”

Sayori put her paws up as they shook.

“I don’t feel so good….”

“It won’t hurt for long” the elf told her. His eyes were focussed, and his smirk had disappeared.

Sayroi’s ears and paws seemed to melt slowly into a green cloud.

That was enough for me to run out from the bush and try to grab her.

I ran right through her, falling into mother’s arms.

Sayori’s face was the last to disappear, she called out to our mother one more time;

“Mama…..?”

And like that, my twin, my sister, was gone.

Mother, barley understanding what was happening, fell to her knees.

The cloud seemed to fly back to the elf’s hands and he gently put them together. A white stone appeared in his hands.

“Interesting,” He looked at it properly; “should be black. Why white?”

“What have you done?” my mother held me tightly; “where is my child?”

“Your child is not with the God’s Karina. Not yet. Though I suppose you might as well mourn her if you must.”

“You bastard!”

My siblings were all behind us. They had just witnessed Sayori’s disappearance for themselves. Behind them was a crowd of residents who had been silently watching in horror.

As usual, Jahadra spoke for them all; “Where is our sister?”

The elf held his stone high as a warning as the crowd came forward. They stopped and he calmly put the stone to his lips and blew.

That disappeared too.

“She’s out of my hands now Karina. Away from this land.”

“It would have been a mercy to kill her” Mother said to that, very much distraught.

“Would it really?” The elf scoffed; “she will serve us, work to help prepare for a better future. Surely you can be pleased with that?”

Jahadra stood with mother; “You killed one of our most respected teacher’s. Now you stoop to this low.”

“Both the master and your mother insulted a member of the Holy Cause.” The elf said; “She is lucky I spared lives this time.”

Mother held her head the same way Sayori did; “Sayori…..”

“I found a way to punish your behaviour with a less severe but life changing punishment. You already have six children, it’s one less mouth to feed.”

The elf touched mother with his staff; “Do not cross me again. Or I will see to it that whoever takes your child on, her throat will be cut.”

Mother responded with fire.

The crowd and us children of Karina watched our mother fight bravely against the Altmer. After a long battle, it was over and she lay dead in the grass.

Jahadra was on him with the kitchen knife she had taken from our house. And despite the crowd who had witnessed a cub vanish in thin air and her mother’s murder, Jahadra was overpowered an imprisoned. When it was known that the elf was indeed dead, we lost another sister.

We had mother’s urn entombed at the local chapel and scattered Jahadra to the sea. In our hearts, Sayori was already dead and we grieved the three of them.

Elahbah and Husbar decided to move on, the experience seemed to make Elahbah more responsible. Husbar became a mercenary and Elahbah joined his younger brother. They promised to write letters and for a while, we heard only good things.

I still grieved and for a long time, I didn’t leave the house. Fash’rin told me to find work and eventually, I worked in the docks before I too became a mercenary.

Fash’rin and I kept in touch and it was while I was on a long two-month job did she tell me she hadn’t heard from the boys.

I then had another client which kept me away for yet another month.

Then Fash’rin stopped her letters.

I returned home. Only to find it was burnt to the ground.

I was seventeen and I had lost my family.

I joined a khajiit caravan heading to Skyrim, depressed and not looking for friendships. I even hoped that the dragons could come down and burn me.

And yet, the God’s gave me my little sister back.

And whilst I have not yet told her what has happened to the rest of our family, the cloud that brought me down is lifted, for I am a twin again.

\---

Battleborn has mentioned that it is perhaps time to try and talk to Sayori about what happened. Yes, she’s busy saving Tamirel, but there’s so much she needs to know and we still have yet to connect as we did as children.

Maybe he has a point.


End file.
